Archive for April, 2009

WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE

Posted in Baseless Musing on April 29, 2009 by Krazmaz

There are times when I find the approach of the modern media objectionable.

This is actually marginally two-pronged, and neither prong is that pointy (to continue a metaphor) but both prongs serve very well in getting up my arse. Neither being pleasant when they do.

If you get me.

Firstly, the one that just annoys me. Modern documentaries seem to have been watching too many movies and have decided that simply telling you things in an informative manner is not enough; instead, all things must be accompanied by visual representations and often-times quite ridiculously dramatic music.

I was watching some show yesterday (with mother, as is custom) about exploration and the spread of knowledge in the late medieval period; going to the orient, the new world, introduction of classical texts thanks to Islamic writings and so on. An interesting subject, if you like that kind of thing, and generally well done. But when being told about a monk (whose name eludes me now, typcially) who was very instrumental in the introduction of the scientific method of experimentation and so on is being shown an actor dressed as a monk tinkering with ‘SCIENCE!’-type props while dark sounding choral music blares in the background really neccessary? I was already watching! You have my attention!

And then they cut to another shot, and another one, and another one. All in the space of about a second. I hate that kind of thing. But now I’m just babbling.

My second prong was more about the news media.

This swine flu epidemic is no joke. People have died and clearly the illness is serious. With the proper responses it shouldn’t prove too bad, however, or at least not as bad as it could be. People will still die, unfortunately, but then anything else is pure wishful thinking.

That said, this sudden barrage of “SWINE FLU! IT’S COMING FOR YOU! TALK TO OUR EXPERTS! THEY KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU, YES YOU, ARE GOING TO DIE HORRIBLY!” kind of thing is really quite annoying. In America it’s even being used to re-open discussion about tighter border control, because clearly the whole problem is plague-riddled Mexicans traipsing into the country. Alternatively, it’s all a terrorist plot. Obviously.

My thoughts are muddled and unguided. Just take the above as a generally anti-fear mongering sentiment. Caution is good, it keeps us alive, but beyond enacting measures designed to try and lock-down outbreaks and stockpile medication what can we do? Shitting ourselves will accomplish little and takes time away from other news, which would be anything!

At the end of the day though I’m not worried because we’re all dead from SARS and bird-flu already anyway. Then again, they do say third time is the charm…

Well, it’s good to see that I can consistently blather all the way to the apocalypse. It was nice knowing everyone. I’ll see you next time WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

Alternatively, I could just be talking out of my arse. I think the prongs must have punctured something.

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The Republic

Posted in Uncategorized on April 28, 2009 by Krazmaz

Solid until the eugenics.

Marman Aie’s Guide To Success in Academic writing! (!!) PS: !!!

Posted in Uncategorized on April 4, 2009 by Krazmaz

It might seem like academic writing is, as a rule, unnessecarily dry, dull, stagnant and unoriginal, (or at least the stuff you’ll be asked to produce) but this isn’t the case! In fact, it’s a delicate ballet – a balancing act, if you will – a deadly razor blade dance as you run a marathon along the knife edge over the abyss of relying on your own thoughts.

Luckily, I’m here to help you out! Ain’t I nice?

1. Style. Style style! Don’t have one. You may be told that you’re allowed to maybe ‘spice it up a little’ and that no-one likes a boring essay but these are just tricks to root out trouble makers and loose cannons; crack open a can of dusty, yawn inducing drivel and down that sucka! As a supplementary thing, don’t waffle.

2. Waffle. Waffle endlessly. How else are you gonna hit that all important word limit? Speaking of which…

3. Waffle some more! If you can make a good point (well, ‘make’, more on that in a second) in a paragraph or so think how much better the same point could be stretched out over, say, five! It’d be about six and a half times as good! That’s just math. Maths. Whatever.

4. Don’t make original points. Why would you want to do this? I mean, there’s literally dozens of books in the world so obviously every single idea has been thought of already. There’s probably a book on the very subject you’ve been asked to write something about; perhaps even two! Go get ’em, read ’em, and regurgitate those points into your essay (while remembering to stretch them out). Those points must be better than yours, after all, they’re in a book! And obviously no-one’s idea ever stood on its own merit, that’d be silly.

5. Repeat yourself. Repeat yourself. If you just made the point (which is someone else’s, remember? And really long, too) once there’s a chance someone might miss it. So say it lots of times, just in case.

6. Hand in at least four copies, plus a spare, plus an email. It’s very important.

7. Be yourself!

8. Never try and hold more than one of the above rules in your mind at one time. Previous attempts by better minds than you (and remember, all minds are better than yours otherwise you wouldn’t be at an institute of learning) and never went well.

That’s it, folks! It’s just that simple. Bet they seem obvious now, don’t they?

PS: I could just be angry, mind, sigh. ‘Jump through hoops’ indeed…

First of the month

Posted in Uncategorized on April 1, 2009 by Krazmaz

I can never come up with good april fools jokes. Sigh.